Canada Mom’s Blog Post – Funny Nanny stories

Extracted from Canadamomsblog – http://www.canadamomsblog.com/2009/05/the-nanny-diaries-part-1-draft.html

 

The Nanny Diaries, part 1

I came home from work this afternoon to find my nanny lounging on the couch reading the newspaper.

READING THE NEWSPAPER!

(this would be like if I were sitting and reading a book in my cubicle while my boss was sitting right beside me, expecting me to be working)

Over the past 6 years, I’ve had three different nannies and my fair-share of rather, um, interesting nanny stories:

My nanny sometimes sends my son to school dressed in his sister’s skinny jeans.

My nanny occasionally eats the yogurt I hauled across the border from Michigan.

My nanny has shrunk at least 8 sweaters of mine.

My nanny has told me “Miss Ali, you look like you’ve gained weight!”

My nanny has occasionally seen me completely naked.

My nanny once used Tide when she didn’t have any more palmolive.

My nanny has caused the washer to overflow. TWICE.

My nanny has said “yes” to something that she totally didn’t understand and did the opposite of what
I’ve asked. many times.

My nanny once let the dog out and had to chase him 8 blocks to get him.

My nanny has thrown out important receipts because she assumed they were garbage, but cannot figure out how to throw out ANYTHING from the fridge. ever.

My nanny has managed to break three vacuums.

My nanny has called me at work to tell me she forgot to send the kids with lunches.

My nanny has USED MY HAIR BRUSH. right in front of me.

My nanny still spoon-feeds my three-year-old.

My nanny had a bit of an, um, bulimia problem.

My nanny has spent way too much time both on the computer OR on her cell phone.

For the most part, I’ve overlooked these things, because, well, the kids LOVE her. because I need her. because she is part of our family. Because we have history. I mean, I overlook these things, because they are not obvious dealbreakers for me, like stealing from me or hurting my children physically or emotionally. But the couch thing, it REALLY irked me. And it makes me wonder what sort of lounging she does when I am not around. For those of you with nannies…what are the dealbreakers for you? I mean, obviously, you don’t fire a nanny for using your hairbrush or for telling you that you are fat…but they sure do make you start to think.

Here’s the thing with nannies: when they are good, they are very, very good; but when things go bad or weird, it kind of makes you want to quit your job and be a stay-at-home mom.

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